Soon To Be: Cara Cross, RN, BSN

(WARNING: this isn't remotely funny...sorry to disappoint. I’m a terrible writer/speller so try not to judge me in my attempt at blogging my thoughts.)

This is the title I have been long awaiting. Just those 5 ‘lil letters behind my name hold so much weight, stress, and loss of sleep/appetite and have driven me into an anti-social oblivion...

I always wished I was a fun major like communications or elementary education where I could spend my days hanging out with friends, going to the movies on Friday nights and making cutesy bulletin boards and teaching about frogs. But no....I chose nursing.  Where 7 days a week, I sleep, eat and breathe everything nursing.  My life is an endless “TO DO” list; the satisfaction I feel crossing off a task on that list is the highlight of my day. Pathetic I know.

  (I got to pretend to be a teacher for the day with my friend Krista's first grade class!  She is the best teacher and her kids are adorable!)

 (How cute is he!!!?? This was my favorite little man in her class. I think im drawn to the pudgy kids, because I was once one. Reference previous blog!)

 (My Uncle Ray...look how handsome he is !)

My desire to be a nurse was influenced by my family and my Uncle Ray’s death.  He passed away in April of my junior year in high school from ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease.  This is a disease that moves throughout your body like a raging wild fire.  It affects muscles and you gradually lose the ability to walk, move your upper extremities, talk, and ultimately breathe which takes your life.  This was devastating news to my family when he was diagnosed. 

A little back ground on my uncle so you know just how wonderful he was...He was the type of person who would drop anything just to help you.  He made me laugh incessantly.  He was constantly loving and supportive of my dreams even if they weren't basketball, soccer, cross-country and basketball like my other sisters (They were ballers, I was a measly cheerleader). He was a hard worker, and could make anything with his hands. He adored his family and my sisters and I.

When he became sick, my Aunt Robin, who is a nurse, was constantly at his side caring for him.  This is when my heart was sparked to do nursing.  I would stop by everyday after school to see him and rub his ice cold feet.  Due to the way he sat in his wheelchair, his lower extremities did not receive good circulation thus they would become purple and cold.  Rubbing his feet was a way to serve and love him, so I loved this time every day.  He would whisper to Aunt Robin a funny story from growing up, for her to tell me.  We would all sit there and laugh, my Uncle was quite mischievous and daring when he was young, so all of his stories were playing pranks on people.  Moments like these up until his last breath are ones that I cherish.  I got to see love displayed by my Aunt in the way she so gently cared for him, she truly honored the vows “Until death do us part.”  I share these precious memories because they all influenced my decision to become a nurse. And they are the reason why I have stuck it out and am now almost to that finish line...

(Yes I feel weird and its awkward that I'm putting pictures up of myself!-But people like blogs with pictures and Im here to deliver!)

(Who really makes "TO DO" list and puts them on their lamp...this girl!)

(And of course my planner is my life! Im looking for a new one, so suggestions are welcome!)

So shortly (in 7months to be exact), I will be the nurse I longed to be so many years ago.  It’s exciting, yet terrifying.  You would think that along the way… through the tears, late nights studying and many bed baths given (And believe me, I’ve seen it all)…that I would know what type of nurse I wanted to be....But that’s a big fat…Nope!  I’m beginning to freak out because I start looking for jobs in a few months and I have no inclination as to what direction to go.  Maybe that means I’m flexible and can do any area…nahhhh probably not!  I’m a type A girl (My mom is nodding her head right now in agreement).  I have to have a plan and know what direction I’m going.  I hate CHANGE (My mom just whispered a hush, amen)!  Examples:  I hate when my mom doesn't put up the snowman Christmas tree…I hate when my schedule is disrupted…I love “TO DO” list and making a plan.  So not knowing what my future holds or what my passion is…well its just plain scary.  I wish I was “that girl”, (Like my roommate of a 5 years, Meggie who is a NICU nurse! So proud of her!) who knew what type of nurse she wanted to be from the get go. 

(Meggie and I on our first day at Belmont! Many tears were shed that semester over leaving Lipscomb, but it has been worth it!)

I know the type of things I do NOT like:

Psych patients
Neuro patients aka psych patients

 (This picture is when Lofton was born! His mom Cherry and I are friends and I've adored this kid even before he entered the world! He has an incredible family!)

(And this second one is from the other day when I got to babysit him! Highlight of my week! Its not very clear and terribly awkward of me, but he looks so cute trying to smile. I couldn't resist putting it up)

 (This one is baby Andrew- Meggie's nephew, he is the cutest baby around)

(Of course I have to include this sweet girl! This is baby Kali, her mom Cari and I were in Delta Sigma together. I got to rock her to sleep the other day. Some might call me a baby whisperer!)

 So only having 2 dislikes makes narrowing down my “likes” a bit harder...I am only certain of one and the other is iffy.

1. I LOVE BABIES:  I mean I LOVE everything about them. If the previous pictures don't prove it, Im not sure what will!  My friends in my clinical group (I use the word “friend” lightly-I only have 3 really and what a blessing those 3 are!) make fun of me because if there is a baby around I get so excited!  Plus I have some of the most adorable babies in my life, which only feed this passion.
2. Iffy about Labor and Delivery: this is the only area that has always been in the back of my mind. Im sure some of you are squirming to think I could enjoy looking at ....Well anyways, But I think that this is an area I could enjoy. And BABIES are involved so of course I love that aspect!

This lil baby momma is adorable! Meet my sister Candace! I finally get my very own nephew and I'm thrilled! I love Coleman Cross Smith already! Eric and her have so graciously allowed me to be in the delivery room with her when Coleman arrives! So on December 28th well see if my calling to Labor and Delivery is confirmed or denied!)

Don't get me wrong, I luurrvvee babies! But I don't want my own baby anytime soon. That would involve a husband, and looks like thats not on my radar so well just have to hold off on wanting my own. I just enjoy loving on everyone else's! Besides I can give them back at the end of the day...its really the life!

So as I finish up this semester... LORD HELP ME!  No but seriously, Im going to need His help! …and as I approach next semester (the down hill slope), I am hoping God lays on my heart or puts me on a path to figuring out what type of nurse I want to be.  I know that He has been faithful to bring me this far and He doesn't abandon the works of His hands.  So I guess I will have to wait...Something I am not very good at, but I am reminded of this verse.

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Psalms 27:14

I have always thought if God had to say “wait for the Lord” twice He MEANS it...So that’s what I am going to do...wait.  I can’t say I’m enthused about this, but I know that He is calling me to trust him and be faithful in prayer. So I hope that you will join me in that. 

And I solemnly swear to not blog about studying or nursing for at least a few months. Sorry this was totally not entertaining but have no fear Erin will be blogging about her trip to Cookeville for Homecoming and our first trip together to Zumba! If you can imagine Erin and I trying to dance to tribal music, then you’re in for a laugh!  And the corner house is decorating for Christmas thursday! Our interior designer Ellen, will do great things for our home. Pictures and Post soon to come!

love,

CcC